Tuesday, November 23, 2010

So I've finally asked him the question, all over again. Though it's not that kind of direct question I asked, somehow it gotten linked to it and I got my answer finally. Of course it's not the reply that I wanted to hear, but then I am just glad that I have finally made him to come clean about our friendship of 8 months.

Too soon for me to ask again?

So, I started off with the statement "I am sensing that you are not really keen in getting to know me". He paused for a moment and replied "Aren't we friends all these while, why suddenly pop-up this question". To me we are friends, but then to you I am not so sure because friends or not, there's always the two-way thing when it comes to communicating.

Then he added, "We are far away, I didn't think anything further than that". I am totally agreeable to what he said. Long distance relationship, won't really workout in most cases. Only small percentage of people actually made it through. Again, my friend said "How can he be in a position to question this issue". True, it's as if he didn't give us a chance to really know each other deeply. I mean it's a little weird for me to ask from you the commitment. All I am wanting from you was to be closer than usual. Though physically apart, I believe we can still connect when we chat most of the nights online.

I asked, "If I am now there, then I would get a total different answer?". You said "That I can assure you. And if I am in KL, then we could have been together". Does that mean that you like me too? Or plainly just to make me feel good.

You used to be the drive for me at work. Every night, or every morning, I will just think of you as I am eager to chat with you. Now, I am not sure. As you have given your answers to me, I can't even tell  whether we are still friends or not.

To make matter worst, I text-ed you last weekend. I was drunk and I just need to find an excuse. Your reply once again, seems that you just want to push me away and further apart.

I have asked the serious question to the first guy that I really think we could be possible. I have gotten my reply and sadly, that seems to be the ulitimate issue. I'll have to admit, at first I was kind of relief after hearing what he said. That lasted for few hours, then I am back to analyzing things.

Don't worry folks. Despite what had happened, life still goes on.


savante said...

Unfortunately distance isn't an easy thing to get over, especially this early in a relationship.

Jon C said...

This feels so familiar..
Throwing out the question and wanting an answer.

Figure out where both parties stand. Not an easy stage. Sigh. I can relate to it.

Cheer up :)
and yes, life goes on

Chen Xing said...

@savante: To be honest, I am sort new in this thing and really hoping that he will give me guidance. Somehow along the way, he just lost interest.

We'll see..can't really tell what will happen in the future, me and him.

@Jon C: I just need the answer as I don't want to be dragging this forever.

Am I rushing ?

Jon C said...

It depends.

I used to think it has to be at the right time. But for myself, if I hadn't asked then, I could've been worse off now - emotionally.

I don't wanna drag things anyway. I know what I want. Clearly some parties don't. lol.

It's gonna take awhile. Think of it maybe it was never meant to be. Focus on other stuffs while you slowly pick urself up k :)

Chen Xing said...

@Jon C: Can I just call you Jon ? Indeed, focusing on something else is making me feeling much better. Thanks for the comforting reply.