Saturday, November 20, 2010

Scared. Lonely.

I have lost all my means to get you to love like know open up to me.

Tell me. Just tell me ways that I could follow in order for you to get closer to me. Seriously, I don't want to be a freak. I don't want you to see me as a stalker nor to view me as an annoying silly boy who keeps on chasing for your attention. I don't want you to have that kind of perception towards me.

You told me, it's alright for me to sort of "disturb" you. But then again, I question your approval now. I have open up to you so much and to make it worst I think will never like a man like how I like you again.

Again, I told you that I miss you most of the time, and at this very moment, I still do. I know I cannot keep on professing my love to you, the more I confess the more you will be afraid and the less value it has on the word "miss you" and "love you" or even "like you".

So now, I choose to be afraid. Instead of me annoying you, perhaps I should just slowly drift away and if can quickly fades from your presence. "One hand claps, makes no sound" that's what my friends said, and as an advice I should just treat you as a normal friend. I know I am in no position to demand anything from you as I like you more than you like me. The truth is, love hurts and it's painful.

Maybe you just view me as an ordinary person.

Then tell me, is it true that all men just want to get into another man's pants. Short-term fling and fun that they are looking for? I wish you are not one of them, sincerely.

Do you see any possibility in us?

And so sorry, that I step into your live without you wanting it to happen.

If that's the case, I should just choose to be afraid.


tuls said...

you are human.. dont be so apologetic ok.. humans have feelings.. what youre going thru is normal.. when you meet someone else, all these doesnt really matter at all.. try to option yourself up for options ok :) *hugs*

Aiden said...

Hm I don't know what to say. But if you need to talk to someone, I'm here.

Maybe you should give it some time and see where it goes?


Jon C said...

Aw. Hang in there!

I tried to live by something called, never allow someone to be your priority; when all you are to them, is just an option.

Take care :)

Chen Xing said...

@tuls: I know must give myself a little more respect. Indeed I am finding ways to give myself more options. Working on it.

@A: I will. Somehow there's only this much I can do for love, the rest is up to him.

@Jon C: Omg, that's so true. I just need to put back on my price tag. Got to be more expensive than before.

>>>Thank you all for the concern. I am slowly healing.

tuls said...

*wave wand*


*bleeding stops.. wound healed*

in the harry potter mode.. sorry.. have to cast spells.. hahahahahaha

Chen Xing said...

@tuls: Big fan of Potter ? Nice ? Planning to watch it this weekend.