Sunday, May 16, 2010

I admit that I lied. Yes, I have been making up the dates of the entries which I have posted. I don't really know why, somehow things that started in January will be easier to track, perhaps.

It's been so long since I posted up anything. No short updates and no clue of my life. Life sucks at the moment, not to say that I am complaining but then I like my work very much. It's only that the other part of my life since to be causing some discomfort in me. As much as work to me is manageable, I got myself fallen into something that I wished I wouldn't have got myself into.

Love. A tough word, not for the faint heart-ed. Before I proceed to the tell-all-session on how I got myself fallen into this, let me just touch on the current situation. So I got to know this guy from this one place, and amazingly the first encounter was magic. I feel the connection and I personally believe that it's organic. Never felt so good before. We chatted about 30 minutes and the brief conversation actually leads me to exchanged number and not to my expectation, I went over to his place the next day.

Yup, it happened again. Twice in a week, and the feeling in bed. I was in heaven. It's now nearly a month sort of like knowing him. What's the status and what's the declaration ? I know that he is attached with his partner, and somehow he gives pointers that their relationship isn't really working out, despite 8 years of being together. I miss him badly, I want to be with him. Do I just express my feelings just like that or play the hard to get game ? I am virgin to this thing and sometimes when you fall in love, you just fall without thinking whether there's anyone catching you when you fall.

Been taking in friends' advices, but in the end you are the one that decides. I am lost, like a lost puppy to be exact. To continue playing and then try to make it exclusive or try to move on to another plan ?

Creepy or not, I am feeling the impact. The deep depression which drains your energy away every time you think about it. And today, I got to know of another thing. It's just so confusing at times.

Decide: Fuck buddy or Friend ?