A Good Meal

I got myself to follow my colleagues all the way to Sunway Pyramid for lunch. It’s not that far, and to be honest it’s the nearest mall to the office. I guessed that’s what it took just to have pizza for lunch.

Initially I am sort of reluctant to follow as simply because it will took up more than an hour. Also considering the amount of work that needed to be completed, I just can’t simply leave the office. Well, in the end I am glad that they enjoyed my company as I decided to tag along.

So was having lunch with them and while they were busy chatting, it struck me in my mind that wouldn’t it be nice if I could do a lunch date instead – perhaps with someone else one on one, once in a while. Imagine the excitement and the attention, something worth experiencing.

At that particular moment, I felt empty and lonely. Indeed, I need someone badly. I have been telling my friends that perhaps it’s not my time yet but then at least some signs that it’s coming? Plan A was like so yesterday, although if he were to call I will be happy again. Been chatting with Plan B for nearly 2 months now, I believe that there is something behind all those conversations. Blossoming? I hope so.

I am feeling sleepy, horny and tired. I don’t know how to prioritize and strategize anymore.

Perhaps, a decent male will help! With that in mind, have a healthy and balance diet.

Head-aching, Heart-breaking

I don't know but you tell me. I have been having terrible headache the past few days. It's painful and horrible. I just don't want to go through it again anymore.

I tried recalling, what's the cause to my problem. Stress from work, or depression from missing someone crazily ? I think it's both. I've been very kind to myself, taking it slowly, trying to forget the memories. Erasing it from my mind is one no easy task, every time I tilt my head towards one particular direction it reminded me of him. I miss him badly. Asking why all the time, why he didn't sms me, why didn't he call and why didn't he have the intention to stay in touch with me.

I've been told that it's not healthy, and moving on is the only key.

Trying to get my mind to focus on something else, I am glad to announce that I have finally gotten myself a car. Gone were the days where I used to commute using public transportation. I am happy, at least I am free physically as I can go to anywhere, anyplace I want (though my heart has been stolen and kept hostage by someone I am missing badly, right now).

It's weekend again, I don't really have plans in mind. What am I suppose to do then ? Let me know and I'll enjoy.

Thank You

Here is to another round of entry.

Thank you for giving me something that is close enough for me to consider a relationship. Never really happened, but then I am glad that you were the one that gave me what I needed the most at that moment. Thank you. Perhaps, now is not my moment yet. I have been stressing pretty much a lot on having a great career, but then I am guessing god knows that I have yet to achieve a strong one hence relationship comes only after that.

I have taken a lot of time to ponder on this. The whole weekend was well spent. Felt much rested and the seclusion has given me a lot of opportunities to really consider again, what I want in life – practically at this moment.

Listening to “Total Eclipse of My Heart”, I am again recalling all the memories or experiences which I had with him. I am not going to say that it’s totally ending but who knows, one or two weeks later or maybe one or two months later..Anything can just happen. Just like the lyrics in the song:

“Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I am only falling apart. There is nothing I can do....”

True enough, you can’t really force one to fall in love with you and in return you can’t stop someone from loving you. This is love.

Let us then fight for love and I’ll always remember my Plan A.

XXX