Thursday, July 15, 2010

There is only so much you can do for love.

You put hope in it, you allow yourself to dream of the fairytale ending and you let it take over your soul. I know, love is blind and feelings are something you can’t really gain control on it. I am supposed to be showing how I have moved on and how happy I have become but hold on, reality kicks in too soon.

So, I am supposed to be writing on how glad I was last weekend. The unforgettable night which I had with Plan B. It was fun and I was loved. Touched unexpectedly, the cuddling made me so vulnerable. I admit that I am addicted to it and I want more than what I asked for. Too bad, that’s not happening anymore – at least for the moment.

Frankly, people rejected me like a pro and sadly, I will just have to accept the truth. I am not sure whether it’s me or it’s the people I met. Not the right kind of guy or I am desperately moving too fast. And as much as moving fast is good in life, it doesn’t really apply in love.

I am now once again, lost and confuse. Got no more other actionable plan to run. Who will I meet, and how do I meet are again the questions whereby a lot of soul searching needed to be carried out. I am not like that, and I am not used to this. I seriously need to find my old self back.

Friends said I am no longer fabulous and some can just read it from my face, the sadness which I am carrying.

Being down, I think this is the lowest-point of my life. Love wise, career wise. Knock! Knock! I just can’t keep on being the sex toy, buddy!