Break-Up Sad

Pronounce title correctly.

Last word rhymes with S-E-X.

Indeed. Is there such thing as a break-up sex ?

Whereby, you two will quarrel, the typical scenario, both get angry for a moment, realizes that it's not destined  to be together and then make out, never to see each other again later on. For some cases, both will remain friends.

Goodbye sex, painful both physically and mentally. Grinding hard on your emotions as well as to your anal, thrusting your body up and down, left and right making your heart pounding faster. He plays with you, one last time before you bid farewell and move on.

Save the best for last, orgasmic climax.

Goodbye and take care.

If there's such thing as a break-up sex, then every ONS that we engage will be the number of relationships we had. F*ck and say goodbye, how many more times ?

I am still counting on this rather than sheep to ease me to sleep.

Write

Old school days...

"Once upon a time....", the usual starting line on how a story should begins with.

Can't run away from the truth that we are thought to always reflect on past incidents (if that's the case, how can we move on then), putting on a high level of fantasy and imagination all in the name of creativity.

That's back then, young and naive us.

So I was at an interview session few hours ago, and the interviewer asked whether I write or not. Wanting to score well, of course I said yes and not that I am speaking blindly out from my mouth at that moment, but then to be honest, blogging is a form of writing too as far I know.

The he added on, "So, do you write strategically ?". I was like thinking and cracking my head for an answer to that question he posted. Not so sure what he meant, I replied "Well, I see writing as an after-work medium for me to de-stress". He later clarifies, stating that whether I write/propose marketing/advertising strategies to the client or not.

Oh, that kind of writing.

Clearer now, I see. I said no, as strategies will normally come from my bosses.

I ended that topic by saying "I just write creatively".

You know, sometimes when I don't update/write so regularly, part of me feels so guilty. It's like I am neglecting something, mentally making me feeling uneasy.

Do you guys feel the same way too ?

Perhaps that is the sign of passion.

Status Update

1 Universe, 8 Planets, 192 Countries, 180 497 Islands, 85 Seas, 7 Billion people

and 

I am still SINGLE !

A friend of mine posted the above statement up in his Facebook.

Don't really know what's happening as both of us has been carrying out a pretty hectic life the past week. Couldn't find the spare time to catch up and heart-to-heart talk with each other.

I know being busy in life, is a good thing. But then sometimes we must also take into consideration whether all the things that been keeping us with no little free-time worth the effort and attention or not.

That's what I am feeling right at this moment. For the past 2 weeks, I have been asking a lot of questions to life. Putting career into the perspective and what I want to achieve in life as the big picture.

Oh no, this is not good.

Sometimes I just wish that life is like a high school workbook, whereby questions on the front pages and then flip to the back for the answers. 

Life ain't no this way, just too bad !

Clouded Mind

I thought it will be alright after this week.

Somehow, the feeling is still buried deep down in me

Perhaps it's proven that I over-worked myself and I just can't take in anymore stress, depression and unhappiness in the work that I am doing now.

If I am not happy, or I am feeling worried about work (though it's after the working hours), that's the clear sign that I need a new environment.

To make matter worst, now it has been revealed that I needed to attend a 3 months workshop, sacrificing the Saturdays (9am - 5pm) that I have from May till August. I just don't want anymore problems.

I don't like the word "compulsory" to be used upon me. Don't want to add one more "duty" to the jobs that I am undertaking. Attending the workshop would means that I will have to forgo any external opportunities in the near future as this will bind me for another 12 months.

Damn ! Not giving me any options, no choice but I will have to resort to...

*Pa, if you are hearing me, please give your son a little more strength to overcome this.

Life In Ad

10 pm...


2 am...


1 pm....(the next day)


Life in advertising.

Sometimes I do wonder, the long hours, the unexpected changed of decisions by the client, bad attitude thrown by the creative team, client giving a hard time, client not listening, bosses not really appreciating and worst still, low wages for the so called taste of glamour, informal working environment and "perks" of the agency life.

This week, the true taste. The endurance test.

Been going back really late. The kind of lifestyle that will sort of screw up your body system: not eating at the right timing and not sleeping. As much as I like staying up till late-night during the weekends, staying up for more than 24 hours during weekdays are something that I am not keen in forcing myself to do it.

So, am I in the medical field now ? Doctor who is on-call, working on a back-to-back shift ?

I am not complaining, seriously. Just thinking whether do I really want this happening in my life and eventually the kind of lifestyle that I'll be living for the coming 6-8 years of my life ?

Told Mum about it, and she asked me to get another job.

True, at the end of the day, there's only one thing which we want to achieve. The goal is ultimately to have a better life. Many ways of achieving it, so I got to decide wisely.

*At this point, am just too exhausted to talk about the current job situation. Will probably talk about it in upcoming updates.

My Name Is

I now pronounced you boyfriend and boyfriend.

A couple, you are bound to the following terms below. So synonymous that it's the most natural condition in the union of two.

Dear...Baby...Honey...Darling...

Sweet, lovely. You smile when he calls you with that kind of name, feeling excited when you return him with some other affectionate name.

Sometimes I do wonder, and pretty much sure that those mentioned above are a little off the century, right ? I know that's the instant classic nicknames for lovely couples and powerful names which will further strengthen the bond of two, but then as of now, what other names do we have out there ?

I know some actually created unique/secret/sacred names for each other, whereas most of us, will tend to go back to the safest, old-school names.

Can never go wrong and bored with it.

Just curious. Care to share yours ?

A Movie Date

Cinema, mostly every week.

Sometimes, back to back, on Fridays and Saturdays.

Comedy would be the much preferred choice, animation, science-fiction, love-story and never really horror/thriller.

Romantic-comedy.

I don't know.

Supposed to be a funny thing, laugh as you go along. But then after the screen fades to black, and when I start to walk out from the hall, I got myself thinking and asking two questions "If only..." and "Why...". I laugh because of the comedy, asking questions because of the romance part.

I am pretty sure that singles and couples will definitely have a different conclusion after watching a love-themed movie in the cinema. One party will probably be all sort of depressed as he or she is still single, whereas the other party on the other hand will be all love-dovey relating their relationship to the one that they have just watched in the movie.

Well, maybe I should instead go watch horror flicks with someone else.

Anyone ?

Stereo Surround

Turn it up. Volume high, adjust it low - for the right feel.

We listen to it and believe me, we watch it from time to time, every now and then.

Most of the time, we play it soft and to make sure that nobody really knows what we are actually doing, we use a headset. Focusing all noises to our ears.

Perfect, I can now concentrate.

You said that you are attached ? So ? It doesn't really matter. With or without partner, alone or with friends.

Porn.

We browse for it, select the one that suites our taste and we download it. Nothing wrong, as sharing is caring.

What triggers me for the need of this entry was indeed the disturbing audio in the porn which I have viewed recently. I know most of it are like "unscripted", but then sometimes I do ask, must they really exaggerate the sound or the dialogues ? 

Fact is, if you are a bottom, it will be a little painful. Deal with it by learning how to turn it into a pleasurable intake. Take it in like a man ! Wouldn't a love-making session be better if it's in a peaceful and serene mode, whereby the only sound you can hear is the crystal clear water dripping sea breeze birds chirping deep-heavy sound of breathing ?

That's the most passionate moment right ? Just so close together.

Hug tighter.

I really question the directing skill as it's such a turn off while watching two hot guys making out and then suddenly one starting to produce over-the-top sound effect which destroys the momentum of the action. Worst still when the "ah ah oo uh oo uh", "yeah, yeah !" or "aaaaahhh aaaahhh" starting to sound like a female.

Indeed, I would rather be straight then.

Sad case.

So next time, do I just mute the audio and play some Beyonce songs instead while watching porn ? 

Sinfully Yours

Risky business.

No thrill if there's no risk in it. Come, let's have fun and with the high level of risk, the fun will be greater.

Trust me.

Risk - keeps the adrenaline pumping, gushing through the veins and making us feeling all hot and sweaty.

No one will see, nobody needs to know. Take charge of your own life. Once, twice and thrice. Time after time, risk after risk, nothing happens to me.

I am still here.

Hey look, it's alright ! Feel free to go all out but just remember to play safe.

We are all born natural sinners, just like the phrase "rules are meant to be broken". Somehow we know that it's wrong and for sure it's already against the norm, we will still tend to get excited and be all crazy in doing the wrongs.

It's the matter between right and wrong. Wise enough, you decide the next course of action. You want to be good or bad.

Perhaps, that's the additional "feel" to whatever crime that we are doing. Whether it's the crave for the pleasures of one's body or the desire to consume more than what we can digest, it's legally and religiously forgiveable to commit the sin once, but not twice.

Take time, reflect. Pray !

Yours sinfully,
The Devil Within

Come, Let's Jump

Psst...do you think that the one below matches my sense of style ?

Adding this to my must-have list as well as my wish list.

I have been wanting to get a piece of that fashion ever since I laid my eyes on it. It's still something new to the fashion scene in the country, something that will look pretty weird if you were to wear it and stroll along the streets of KL.

But then, who cares ! I walk proud and I strut with full of confidence. I like to make statement and damn, I am an attention-whore. Somehow, I think that I will feel comfortable in it.

Just liking the one-piece concept very much.

Do you think I should go get it ? Or wait for it, give more time for more designs of the jumpsuit to diversify ? If you happen to see in any store or boutiques, do let me know will you ? I have seen it in SEED, but I believe there are many more options out there.

Aix Galericulatas

Feng Shui tells us that, find your Kua number in order to determine the direction.

Basing on my date of birthday, I have actually calculated out the Kua number, and according to the chart, the Romance direction in my room is actually the south-west.

So now, place something that comes in pair in that corner to activate the Love/Relationship/Romance area.

I have decided to frame the following picture and put it on my desk, south-west corner.

Now, I am confuse. Do I place the picture of Yang versus Yang, rather than the harmony of Yin and Yang ? Should I be putting up more masculine elements in the south west corner ? Something hard, earth elements or maybe posters of hot hunky guys. Or do I simply just change the Mandarin Ducks to something else instead ?

Trust me, desperate time calls for desperate measure and I do believe in the act of balancing the elements around me.

FYI, aerial view of my room. Any Feng Shui experts want to lend some help ?

Just trying out, who knows.

Picnic Meal

Nice sunny weather, not too dreadful and the air breezes so perfectly making the outdoor ever that tempting for many possibilities of activities to happen. The usual thing to munch on during a picnic session would be sandwiches.

Peanut butter and jelly, tuna and mayonnaise or simply drizzles of Nutella.

A company of one or companies of two, to be honest I am still not over thinking about this particular entry, which I have posted not so long ago.

Imagine the sensation of being sandwiched in between. Taking and giving at the same time. How does it feel like ? Will it be as tasty as biting the juicy burger ? Yummier than the above mentioned type of sandwiches ?

I wonder.

Looking at sandwiches, not the same way again. Just a food for thought.

Words I Couldn't Say

It's not really a secret. But it's sacred.

Sometimes, you just couldn't really say it out. You wanted to, but you are just not sure whether is the timing right or not. Does the situation allows you to say so ? Or, whether it is a perfect moment to voice it out from your mouth ?

What if you already did say ? Are you going to repeat the words again, or just keep it as it is ?

Somehow, I know that I told him the words twice if I am not mistaken. Now, I think is his turn. But then again, I can't really demand anything at this point.

So, what are the words that I couldn't say ?

And care to share yours ?

*Above video is taken from the Country Song. Song titled Words I Couldn't Say by Leighton Meester.

Design Sense

Delusion first, depress later.

That was a phrase of advice given to my friend, partly because that was something that I used to follow as a guide that blankets me from the cold-fantasy that I am feeling. Though most of the time I am always aware that my two feet are still touching the ground and that gravity is still ever wanting to pull me back, the fantasy never fails to lift my soul up.

Probably uttered that out of insanity (lost for a moment), and both of us were deeply desperate that we nodded our head to the above statement. Agreeing to the pain, sorrow and short-lived moments of happiness, never once cared for our mind, body and soul.

At times, the vibe was so powerful that we chose to stay in the imaginative state till we didn't want to be awaken up to face the challenging real world. Though the pain kept on repeatedly leaving scars to our heart, we faked the pain. Running away from giving it a chance to recover.

No time to heal, wanting to immune to all these.

Leave me alone, I am happy.

Now, thinking back, I second that selfish thought of mine. How can I be hurting myself this way ? As much as life requires decisions, we still have the option to opt for a different direction to go with.

So now, why make life miserable when you can be happy ?

Delusion not, depress not.

Just Dinner & Coffee

Table for two, please !

Glad to have met up with you yesterday night for dinner. Happy that you have asked me out, if not, I can't even tell when we'll be seeing each other again.

Sorry, as I am supposed to see you on Saturday night but then friends decided to go somewhere else, no choice, that's why I didn't text you that night. If you were waiting for me to make an appearance, then I would like to apologize again.

We chatted on a lot of things yesterday night. Though there were few pauses in between those moment, you shared with me some personal details of your life and I am more than happy to be there and listen to all of it.

Relationship wise, career wise and family wise. I got to know about you a little bit more.

As I said, it's been a year knowing you. A lot of things happened and yet we still chat once in a while.

You showed me the picture of your boyfriend, and I am glad to see that you are happy to have him by your side. You told me the story on how you guys met, and I can tell that you guys are indeed so caring to each other. Though it's only been few months into the newly blossomed relationship, I wish you guys happiness.

You asked about me then, and I told you that I am still the same except for a whole-load of work-stress on me. You asked about my love life, and I gave you the same answer - still the same, nothing much to update.

Somehow it doesn't matter, I am just glad that you still want to meet up with me.

You sharing, being honest and how open you are to me last night. Perhaps, we are now really friends.

Do keep in touch then.

*Thank you for the dinner !

Unzipped

Bikini underwear, G-string, Tanga, Thong, Boxer briefs, Boxer shorts, Trunks, Jockstrap, Briefs or going all Commando.

Which one your pick ?

I got to admit that I used to be an avid collector of these fashion pieces. Tend to always hunt for the one that is cute in design, comfortable in terms of materials and nicely cut and fitted to the body.

Though nobody sees it most of the time, it's important to feel good from the inside. Who knows, one day you might just need to drop the pants down for some action. So, be prepared all the time.

Boxer shorts. Looking all hot, sweaty and sexy.

White briefs. Instant classic, instant turn on.

White briefs, shorter cut. Making those butts temptingly delicious.

Cyclist briefs. Mature, and formal.

The English briefs ? Let's cuddle and sleep.

Or just don't wear anything at all. You look cute !

Yummy ! All commando.

And now, how would you want it to be for your man ?

Personal preference: Like it when an all macho manly guy with a well-toned body, complements the body (especially the lower part) by wearing a brief with cute prints on it. Such a major turn on. Ooh, love it, love it ! 

Are You Alright ?

Major concern !

Back home yesterday, hit the club at night.

Drag shows, cabaret performances and a night that was full of dancing. Saturday night-out in the island.

Simply splendid.

Half way through the show, the host noticed me. She asked "Are you feeling alright ?". "You look kind of depress and sad" she added. Obviously, I said no. Perhaps a little too tired from travelling back home in the morning, a happier reason for me to use instead.

Then she further add-on "Break-up ? Got dumped by boyfriend ?"

Err...no. I got no boyfriend in the first place.

Deep down inside, I am actually thinking about my work. Over-working, stress and being pressured.

Come on, I just need to learn how to not let it affect me so much. Must really draw a line between personal space and work space.

Hence, the obvious sign of depression on my face and I am supposed to be enjoying instead of worrying.

Saturday night, what a moment.

Sensitive Question

Will you answer me honestly if I were to ask, which is the most sensitive part of your body ?

The horny one will say the penis, the logical one will say the skin and the gay one will say the heart.

Honestly, I am the latter one.

Sensitive ? Or just over thinking, over analysing the situation ?

I've been told that I am kind of a very ultra sensitive kind of guy. A little slight treatment of dissatisfaction, and I showcase my unhappiness in a very obvious way. At times, it annoys me much that why I reacted in such a way.

Am I not mingling with the people around me the right way, am I not good in communicating/presenting myself or am I simply just too new for them to perceive me in that manner ?

All I know is that, sensitivity is the key to understanding your true self. How aware you are towards your body, mind and soul. Ultimately, helping you to understand the people surrounding you.

A gay thing perhaps ?

Hate to admit this but maybe sometimes I think that I am a little too extreme with this emotion. But then again, how can you not be that way when you are being touched right so deeply to your heart ?

Sensitive, caring.

A delicate plant, I deserve to be pampered because I am sensitive.

Look At Me

Simply fabulous.

You fill in the blank.

And the girls want to compete with me.